18-year-old gets ostracized by her 4 college roommates because she only calls her mom once a week: 'She's the only girl I've ever met who doesn't talk daily to her mom.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Nov 9, 2025 8:00 PM EST

It's way weirder to call your mom multiple times a day every day when you're in college.

For many college students, the newfound independence they get from attending university is a welcome change. They no longer need their parents to guide them through everyday decision-making, and they feel confident and empowered in doing the day without constantly having to tell their mom where they're going and when they'll get home. 

There's nothing inherently wrong with calling your mom every day, but if you can't get through the day without asking your mom what to do, especially as a college student, she might not have set you up to be an independent adult who doesn't need her to function. That's the most important thing to instill in your child before they leave the nest, and if they don't have it in college, then you've failed on some level.

Everyone thinks the level of closeness they have with their parents is "normal," while everyone else is either too attached or detached, and this group of girls is no different.

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  • A woman sitting on a counter talking on a cell phone
    via volant

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • The college students in this story frequently talk to their parents throughout the day. That's not the worst thing in this world, but they're judging their roommate, who only calls her parents once a week, in the process. If you're anything like them, you probably think that anyone who talks to their mom only once a week has a bad relationship with their mom. If you're anything like their roommate, you know how normal a weekly call can be.

  • Am I wrong for saying I’m sorry my roommate has a bad family, but they don’t need to project their mommy issues onto me?

    I'm (19F) a college freshman living in a dorm with four roommates (18/19F). We all met at the start of the semester, so we've known each other a good two months now.
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  • Of the five of us, four of us call our moms every day or multiple times a day.
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  • I'll often be in my room and hear one or two of my roommates talking to their moms in their room.
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  • Our fifth roommate, Catherine, is a bit different. She commented once that she only talks to her parents once a week.
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  • So we all just assumed she has a bad home life and dropped the issue. But she seems to be jealous or something of the rest of us for having good families.
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  • She has said to me several times that it's "odd" I talk to my mom several times a day.
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  • I said that's funny, because she's the only girl I've ever met who doesn't talk daily to her mom.
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  • All of us have caught Catherine, who doesn't subscribe to the laundry service, sneaking her clothes into our bags.
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  • Sometimes I'll be hanging out with other girls and two or three of us will get a call from our moms at once.
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  • I figured she's just envious that she has a bad relationship with hers. All of us find Catherine quite strange.
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  • We all get along, even though roommates are randomly assigned to freshmen, but she's the odd one out.
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  • We've had issues with her "piggybacking" off our laundry services, as well. Three of us subscribe to the school laundry service, which includes pick- up, cleaning, folding, and delivery several times a week.
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  • A stack of folded shirts sitting on top of a blue table
    via Dan LeFebvre

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • It costs around $700 a semester, and we each have our own bag with a unique ID.
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  • This week, we staged a whole intervention to talk to her about this, which escalated into a big blow-up fight, and we finally said we will take her to small- claims court for theft if we find her clothes in our bags again.
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  • She is now on the RA's radar, and one of the other girl's parents personally called the RA to complain.
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  • A man standing in a bedroom next to a bunk bed
    via Andrej Lišakov (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • So it's been a tense week, and then I saw her in the common room today after talking on the phone with my mom.
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  • She said "don't you think it's kind of childish to talk to your mom so often." I'm so done with her, so I said what we've all been saying to each other behind her back.
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  • Basically said, "I'm sorry you come from a shit family where no one loves each other, but don't project your mommy issues onto me just because I have a normal relationship with mine." She said she's going to contact the RA about me "bullying" her now after the call-out.
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  • I told her to try her luck, because the RA already knows she's a thief. AITA?
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  • Spiritual_Ground_778 ESH. You are all behaving like children, and you are definitely ostracizing her from your flatmates group which is a horrible thing to do to someone who's literally stuck living with you. You're going to have to learn how to live and work with people you don't get along with, because that's how life works. FYI, a weekly call is a perfectly normal amount of contact with your parents when you are an adult.
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  • HorseFeathers Fur As a mom of adult children, I don't talk to them every day and that has no bearing on our relationships. We have excellent relationships but we are all also independent and have busy lives. I do not understand your need to talk to your mom multiple times a day but I won't judge you for it. You've been judging and making assumptions about this girl's family and relationships with no proof at all, and I'm sure she feels your judgment, you've made it quite obvious that you have "o
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  • Spare_Necessary_810 For heavens sake, take someone to court because they sneaked their laundry in? Of course she shouldn't have done but it you all ganging up sounds most distasteful. Once a week phone calls are pretty normal, perhaps more normal than multiple time a day actually, but its immaterial anyway, and ought not to be the subject of the sort of drama (and smugness) displayed by your group. I feel quite sorry for her, having to deal with all you mean girls and your sense of superiority.
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  • LackNo5171 ESH. You're all immature, you more so than her. She shouldn't be sneaking her laundry into yours (although you could've handled that much better instead of "staging an intervention" - who does that? Creates unnecessary drama). You shouldn't be making comments about her home life. It absolutely IS weird to talk to your mother that often - several times a day seems very excessive to me. You're free to do so of course, but assuming her relationship with her mother is bad because she "onl
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  • YTA Tall-Payment-8015 So harsh and unnecessary. Find some empathy. Small claims court over laundry items? Lol. It could be a financial issue for her that isn't costing youR PARENTS anything. Should she do that? No. But you clearly haven't taken the time to actually get to know her and understand her on any level. College should be a time of exploration and independence. Talking to your mother several times a day and having your laundry done by a service is hardly that. Talking to your parents on
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  • Master_Farm_445 My friend is very close with her daughters in college and they do not talk every single day. You need to expand your view of what is normal (as does your roommate). Although, the fact that one of you has to get your mommy involved says a lot.
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  • YTA RevRos She's wrong for the laundry thing. Talk to her about it, don't go nuclear and why stage an intervention? That sounds nasty and not necessary. She got some washing done for free, which is bad but not exactly the worst of crimes. I'm not surprised she's lashed out. You think she doesn't know you all think she's the "odd" one? Four of you all bolstering each others egos and her feeling left out and the one who gets the intervention. Must feel great for her. Have a little empathy and look
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  • INFO seanymphcalypso I'm just curious about the laundry thing. I mean it's absolutely your right to not let her ever toss anything in your bag, but was she trying to stuff all of her laundry between your bags? Was it only a couple of items here and there? Was it every week? Do you have communal machines down the hall she could have used on her own? And can I sign up for this service at a college near me? Semesters here are 15 weeks long so for $45/week someone will wash dry and fold my clothes s
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  • OP Bulky_Extension_1254 Bags are picked up individually, so all clothes have to be inside a bag. She was hiding some of her own items in our bags. Mine is picked up twice a week. (For three times a week, it's $900.) There's laundry machines in the basement she could use for a just a few dollars I think. The service is a very established student-run business at my school.
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  • Only-Breadfruit-6108 Can you explain how it's theft that she is getting a few clothing items washed? What is she stealing?? Have you asked her why she's doing it? I don't mean confronting and accusing, I mean just having a conversation. Maybe it's a post covid thing, that you all speak to your parents so much, all that homeschooling. It's not that I think it's unhealthy, but I do think it's very reliant. Plenty of people have very good relationships with their family, and friends, and don't spea
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  • OP Bulky_Extension_1254 Well, she's contaminating our clothes with her clothes. But mostly, she's getting out of the $700 feet by using other people's bags, and she's not even offering us compensation or anything. It's only a few dollars I think to do laundry on the machines in the basement. I wasn't homeschooled, but I feel it's quite unusual for a girl to not speak to her mom at least once a day.
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  • Only-Breadfruit-6108 Contaminated? You think your clothes caught a disease? And how exactly is it theft?? You forgot to say
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  • OP Bulky_Extension_1254 She is getting her pheromones and odors on my clothes. She's taking advantage of us and parents. They didn't pay $700 for another girl to be putting her clothes in my laundry bag. She should at least pay us compensation since she's getting out of the fee herself.
    via u/ Bulky_Extension_1254

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